Dear Cambodian Farmer,
I want to apologize to you for running in your rice fields and taking up with nice American volunteers and making them feel welcome with a thousand licks to their face. I know what I did was the worse thing a dog can do wrong, and if there’s anything I can do to make it better, I will. I’m sorry that my actions in just being a normal dog and maybe sneaking a snack or two of that crappy tasting pig you had cooked yesterday may have made you think differently of me but I am hoping you will forgive me and stop trying to trick me into thinking that really sharp knife you have angled at my throat is really the beginnings of a really good horror flick and not what I am thinking — the end of my life. I am hoping you will forgive me and stop trying to turn me into something to serve our new guest — as I have noticed she really likes Oreo’s and most probably will be very happy living off those for the next two weeks. I promise it will never happen again. Probably.