I know I am in a bad place when all I think about is running away.
I suppose on some level everyone feels that from time-to-time. I have girlfriends who “run away” by spending six hundred and ninety-eight dollars on a pair of shoes with a funny name and I have guy friends who buy DVD’s with even funnier namesfor about the same bucks.
Me? My running away always starts with a plane ticket.
Just got an email from those kind folks at American Airlines offering, for “two weeks only” round trip to some city near the edge of the Amazon jungle and all I could think is how I so desperately want to go to this Indian village I have heard about (but really, it can be any village, or so I am told) where one can be infested with lice and fleas and scratch themselves silly, live in a hammock and hang with the village pets which include but are not limited to: Sloths, monkeys, Coatis (a raccoon looking creature) and wake up with a giant anteater staring at you in the face.
I dream of eighteen hour train rides, horrible boat rides, and heat that will make all my medical issues worse. I don’t watch much TV but I stare at apps about weather in South America like one watches a hit TV show. I want fleas! I know that sounds crazy, because I could probably over to my next door neighbor’s house and just sit with one of their five outdoor dogs, get licked and go home with some fun fleas. But if I am to get fleas…
I WANT FLEAS WITH A SPANISH ACCENT!
I know I will get to the Amazon jungle one of these days soon. I will be sleeping in hammocks and thinking of air conditioners and Hot Baths. I will one day in the not so distance future dig a pit near a riverbank and line my pit with a waterproof tarp bought from REI, fill it with river water and toss in amargo wood chips and soak for hours to rid myself of unwanted itchy buddies and laugh to myself as I am doing this, thinking, I wished for this laying in my bed, my clean and comfortable bed in Los Angeles — dreaming of the day — Spanish Lice and fleas with take a liking to me.
Or as I am trying to get through another day of issues involving so many an unpleasant thing — I find myself, watching this video:
I am on my third go around of watching this video and somehow I find myself a tad bit calmer, a tad bit stronger to go back to the hospital, back to the doctors and their tests… ‘Cause, I am alive. I am about to live in the “moment” for better or worse but in the back of my mind? I will be secretly “in the moment” of this video:
Living in the Moment I am finding these days is tough. Sometimes rewarding. Hardly ever dull.