This Little Piggy Went to Market

Broken Piggy BankMany of you folks know I have been having this teeny-tiny issue involving Bank of America.  Fun folks those Bankers are!

I have learned about a lot about complaints, motions; and all crap one has to do when filing a motion aside from the verbiage written on the page. Like it’s real important to put documents in the right order for that court and how they do documents and then there is strikes and replies and submissions…

Seriously, all of this hurts my head. But what it has given me via a thousand hours on the Internet and reading motions filed and won, filed and lost and just about every other way to do a motion correctly or incorrectly or – again? Ugh.

What this has taught me, and I have Bank of America to thank for this is several things.

  1. ALWAYS READ AND NEVER BE IN A RUSH TO SIGN ANYTHING. If you don’t understand what you are reading, be a dumbass and ask a ton of questions. Questions cost nothing and every question asked usually gets a response even it’s a shrug (and if you get one of those shrug type shrugs — Huge red flag! Don’t sign! Just saying shrug buyer beware).

  1. If a bank gives you $202,000 dollar loan when you are showing earning $800.00 for a tax year? You know you are dealing with fucked some fucked up bankers. Which speaking of bankers… which really are Wall Street folks as your loan is immediately sold upon signing to some Wall Street who then determines if you are a good risk or a bad risk and then determines where your loan sits in “risky” stock yields or safer stocks based on the amount owed, put down, and intention of the borrower. Cause what the stock ultimately comes down is to the value of the person who is taking out the loan. So if the bank was shifty and didn’t check all the paper work given by the folks or institution representing the folks buying the house – you as a stock holder will get yourself some pretty shitty stock in your portfolio plan when the own times a few hundred thousand or so – defaults because of economy issues, global issues, natural disaster issues, or I fucked up and shoudn’t be buying a house I can’t afford issues.  And I am even more stupid for listening to what those folks have to say who gave me the loan in the first place and that nagging voice from my youth, telling me there is “value to your home”, if one were to go down the path of buying a home.

Folks I am here to tell you there is value to your home regardless of if you are paying on it or not. There is value because the banks have arranged through their deception and way of lying to we folks who are not bankers or money folks a way to stay in your house and win against any of these offending banks who did business knowing you couldn’t possibly pay on the house you bought.

Step one. DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. Let the bank know you are physically living in the house.

  1. Go to your local civil court and file a complaint against who every holds your loan. Which will be some sort of Bank name and a brokerage firm. Make sure to file your papers on pleading paper and just state the facts. A month or so later, the bank will reply with some sort of obvious thing like you haven’t paid, etc… and you then return the motion and use what they have responded to you with any of the links supplied in this blog that applies to your situation. Please don’t do a cut and paste, but write the reason any of these articles say that affects your case…

Then you are off and running!

What this means is as the Banks are so screwed up – you go into a holding pattern with the bank and your money. THIS CAN TAKE YEARS.

Now I hear some of you folks saying, “Jewel, that’s all fine to say, but what about my credit?” And, here is what I have learned: The minute the bank or loan holder has talked about you to any credit reporting agency? You are fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked.  Oh, sure you can buy a car at some 33% interest rate and you will not be able to get a credit card – but you will be living in your house. You will have a shot at receiving monies or in a lot of other cases? The house free. I kid you not.

Folks, from my own personal experience. I have figured out this much. The banks are too large. They are not the scary folks in real life they pretend to be when you get one of those “demand” letters. They are folks who have learned through other folks with lots of money how to make the government pay for their fuck ups.

IT WILL TAKE AN ACT OF CONGRESS to change the banking issue if you have bought a house and can prove or join a class action suit how you were wronged by folks in your own neighborhood who worked at a loan documentation place and they all knew they were dummying up the financial records to get them passed to be sold to a stock brokerage firm. So until that act of Congress gets passed and trust me folks… years, if ever if you bought a home from 2003 to 2012 you have a shot at what I am saying here.

It doesn’t take a brilliant lawyer no matter how many times “they” will tell you that. The Lawyer can be you. It’s about motions and paperwork. It’s about citing cases online that have won or lost. It’s about using a black pen and pleading paper. It’s about a timeline of events, using dates. It’s about changing your perspective on how you were raised and how society taught you to “do the right thing”.

Cause you are doing the “right thing”. By suing you are telling that lending institution you will not be bullied. You will not be harassed. You will put up with banking as they deem to deliver to you. It’s about your rights.

The more you take charge of your rights, the more you realize there are no bogey monsters.

Well unless you happen to live on Elm Street.


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Actress, Model, Writer, Photographer, Survivor.

With a résumé that shows work as diverse as video standbys like Caged Heat 2 to award winning films like 2012 Best Picture™ winner The Artist, not to mention the fan favorite Return of the Living Dead, Jewel Shepard has endeared herself to legions of fans. She’s also the best-selling author of Invasion of the B-Girls and If I’m So Famous, How Come Nobody’s Ever Heard of Me, and has worked as a reporter for Premiere, Details and Cosmopolitan.

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